LOST YOUR SPARKLE? 5 WAYS TO GET IT BACK
How is it already October 8th!?
Yesterday, I did a post on social media that ended up being a bit of a microblog, if you will. It was The Four Year Anniversary of a very intense car accident I was in. The collision left me in the hospital for three months, re-learning to walk and undergoing 12 surgeries.
The post looked something like this:
Reflecting on everything that happened, I have to admit, it was a very challenging time. Although the first year was very traumatic, I oddly had a sense of peace as all that mattered was getting better. I got a true feel of “living in the moment” as getting my health back was the sole focus of daily living.
Leading into my second year after the accident, I found myself re-learning to exist in society again. It took a while to adjust and slowly, but surely I made my way back. However, even with a mostly healthy body, great friends, family, and a beautiful relationship, I still felt something missing; I had lost my sparkle.
Throughout life, we go through the motions and this happens to all of us (you’re not alone!) No matter the reason, we have all been there and for anyone reading right now that feels a little lackluster, this post is dedicated to you.
FIVE WAYS TO GET YOUR SPARKLE BACK
Understand that it is okay not to be okay.
If something traumatic has happened to you, allow yourself not to be okay. Cry it out, be upset, let your emotions deal with the situation at hand. How can you go on to get your sparkle back if you don’t confront and accept whatever lies in front of you? This is the hardest part of all, but insanely necessary. And as a devastated Carrie asks Miranda in Sex in the City after Mr. Big doesn’t show up on their wedding day, “Will I ever laugh again?” Miranda responds, “Yes, when something is really, really funny.” Carrie then goes on to laugh a week later as Charlotte accidentally drinks water in Mexico and has an explosive problem on her hands. Was Carrie healed? No, but it was the first step toward getting her life and sparkle back. Baby steps.
Memories light the corner of my mind.
Can you remember a time when you felt super-special? Perhaps it was a great holiday, achieving a goal, your wedding day, no matter the occasion, you rocked it and totally brought it. Allow one of those memories to come to mind.
As you recall that memory, envision it vividly. What did it smell like it? What were you wearing? Was there a song playing? Who were you with? How do you feel as you are brought back to that time?
Sit and enjoy that memory and come up with one unique word that wraps up the entire experience. Repeat that word over and over in your mind.
As you do this exercise, you are creating an anchor to the past experience. You know how you hear a specific song and it takes you back to a place in time? Whenever my Mom and I hear, “Save The Best For Last” by Vanessa Williams it reminds us of a time when we lived “at the peach house.” We always giggle over this memory. Just as my Mom and I were connected to the happy “peach house” memories from the song, you will be connected to the confidence you felt during your chosen memory when you hear your unique word.
From this time forward, use your special sparkle word as often as you can. Strengthen the anchor and connection back to your confident, wonderful self!
Do something for YOU.
Too often, we always put off amazing, spectacular activities we would love to do because we are waiting for a time to celebrate. Well, guess what? It is time to celebrate YOU! Dying for a day at the spa? Going to a five-star restaurant? Seeing the latest blockbuster to hit theaters (I seriously cannot wait to see A Star Is Born with Bradley Cooper & Lady Gaga!)
The time is now. Tomorrow is not promised. Put on your best dress, suit or yoga pants and get out there and do your thang! At the very least, you will be doing an out of the ordinary activity that boosts your spirits. Getting into different environments and having unique experiences are bound to sprinkle the sparkle back into your veins.
Be your greatest cheerleader.
I chat about mindset A LOT on the blog. I have found it to be one of the most magnificent tools out there to feeling your best.
What are you saying to yourself in your mind? Are you giving yourself encouragement and pumping positivity into your head? Or are you continually criticizing and critiquing yourself?
Regardless of your answer, the good news? We get to choose our self-talk! Believe it or not, you do have a choice. Anytime I find a negative thought creeping its way into my brain, I intentionally stop myself and flip the idea.
Do your daily affirmations. Believe in yourself. Tell yourself you are a champion. Because guess what? YOU ARE.
Take the lead.
Often in life, when someone asks us, “Hey, what do you want to eat for dinner?” the go-to answer is, “I don’t mind. What do you think?” I’m not sure why this is the default answer, but I know we’ve all had this response. It’s almost easier to pass it back to the individual that is asking. So how is this linked to confidence and sparkle?
By allowing another individual to take the lead, you are sending a compelling message to yourself that your needs will come second. Ouch. How on earth can you be sparkly if you don’t value yourself? It’s time to step up and take the lead! The next time someone asks you what you’d like to do, give yourself a moment to think about what you want and then say it.
You are a powerhouse, bb! Now get out there and shine bright like the diamond that Rihanna and I know you are!